How Scared?

Zena:       U know what ....M actually scared for my future

   N its not even funny now
               M scared like watching exorcism scared. 

Runcil:     nice day u chose to watch that.’

 Zena:   No I'm not watching it! I'm describing how scared I am
            I hardly watched exorcist, closed my eyes n ears for half the movie!

 (Somewhere in 2010)

Establishing Ties

       This is a snippet of the exchange that takes place between the Little prince and the Fox in Antoine de Saint-Exupéry's  "The Little Prince" . I personally like this part, there is wisdom in it as well as innocence in the way it is portrayed ....here is an edited version...

  "No," said the little prince. "I am looking for friends. What does that mean--'tame'?"

"It is an act too often neglected," said the fox. It means to establish ties."

"'To establish ties'?"

"Just that," said the fox. "To me, you are still nothing more than a little boy who is just like a hundred thousand other little boys. And I have no need of you. And you, on your part, have no need of me. To you, I am nothing more than a fox like a hundred thousand other foxes. But if you tame me, then we shall need each other. To me, you will be unique in all the world. To you, I shall be unique in all the world . . ."


 "My life is very monotonous," the fox said. "I hunt chickens; men hunt me. All the chickens are just alike, and all the men are just alike. And, in consequence, I am a little bored. But if you tame me, it will be as if the sun came to shine on my life. I shall know the sound of a step that will be different from all the others. Other steps send me hurrying back underneath the ground. Yours will call me, like music, out of my burrow. And then look: you see the grain-fields down yonder? The wheat fields have nothing to say to me. And that is sad. But you have hair that is the color of gold. Think how wonderful that will be when you have tamed me! The grain, which is also golden, will bring me back the thought of you. And I shall love to listen to the wind in the wheat . . ." 

"Please--tame me!" he said. 

"I want to, very much," the little prince replied. "But I have not much time. I have friends to discover, and a great many things to understand." 

"One only understands the things that one tames," said the fox.

"Men have no more time to understand anything. They buy things all ready made at the shops. But there is no shop anywhere where one can buy friendship, and so men have no friends any more. If you want a friend, tame me . . ."

"What must I do, to tame you?" asked the little prince. 

"You must be very patient, first you will sit down at a little distance from me--like that--in the grass. I shall look at you out of the corner of my eye, and you will say nothing. Words are the source of misunderstandings. But you will sit a little closer to me, every day . . ." 

The next day the little prince came back. 

"It would have been better to come back at the same hour," said the fox. "If, for example, you come at four o'clock in the afternoon, then at three o'clock I shall begin to be happy. I shall feel happier and happier as the hour advances. At four o'clock, I shall already be worrying and jumping about. I shall show you how happy I am! But if you come at just any time, I shall never know at what hour my heart is to be ready to greet you . . . One must observe the proper rites . . ." 

"What is a rite?" asked the little prince. 

"Those also are actions too often neglected," said the fox. "They are what make one day different from other days, one hour from other hours."

So the little prince tamed the fox. And when the hour of his departure drew near--

"Ah," said the fox, "I shall cry."

"It is your own fault," said the little prince. "I never wished you any sort of harm; but you wanted me to tame you . . ."

"Yes, that is so," said the fox.

"But now you are going to cry!" said the little prince.

"Yes, that is so," said the fox.

"Then it has done you no good at all!"

"It has done me good," said the fox, "because of the color of the wheat fields." 

 "Go and look again at the roses. You will understand now that yours is unique in all the world"

The little prince went away, to look again at the roses. 

"You are not at all like my rose," he said. "As yet you are nothing. No one has tamed you, and you have tamed no one. You are like my fox when I first knew him. He was only a fox like a hundred thousand other foxes. But I have made him my friend, and now he is unique in all the world." 

"It is the time you have wasted for your rose that makes your rose so important." 

"It is the time I have wasted for my rose--" said the little prince, so that he would be sure to remember. 

"Men have forgotten this truth," said the fox. "But you must not forget it. You become responsible, forever, for what you have tamed. You are responsible for your rose . . ." 

"I am responsible for my rose," the little prince repeated, so that he would be sure to remember.

Justice Sunday!

If great thoughts and sensible words were enough I could have changed the world by now........

Through Heaven's eyes

I love watching Disney Movies and I personally think they have a lot to teach us....

They are generally positive and never fail to remind us of some of the values we need to hold..

'Through Heaven's Eyes' is a song form the animated movie "The Prince of Egypt".

Here are the lyrics in case you find it difficult to follow the words in the song...Watch the video!

 

A single thread in a tapestry
Through its color brightly shine
Can never see its purpose
In the pattern of the grand design

And the stone that sits on the very top
Of the mountains mighty face
Does it think its more important
Than the stones that form the base?

So how can you see what your life is worth
Or where your value lies?
You can never see through the eyes of man
You must look at your life

Look at your life through heavens eyes
Lai-la-lai...

A lake of gold in the desert sand
Is less than a cool fresh spring
And to one lost sheep, a shepherd boy
Is greater than the richest king
If a man lose everything he owns
Has he truly lost his worth?
Or is it the beginning
Of a new and brighter birth?

So how do you measure the worth of a man
In wealth or strength or size?
In how much he gained or how much he gave?
The answer will come
The answer will come to him who tries
To look at his life through heavens eyes

And thats why we share all we have with you
Though theres little to be found
When all you've got is nothing
Theres a lot to go around

No life can escape being blown about
By the winds of change and chance
And though you never know all the steps
You must learn to join the dance
You must learn to join the dance
Lai-la-lai...

So how do you judge what a man is worth
By what he builds or buys?
You can never see with your eyes on earth
Look through heavens eyes
Look at your life
Look at your life
Look at your life through heaven's eyes

The Divine Intervention....

In Summary....
I was dead hungry, sitting in the computer room doing some reading during our "five minute" break, had a thought the girls may order for sandwiches, and I'd go and order one, but alas  my computer would be occupied if I did get up.....
A fleeting thought passed my mind, "Lord let him bring an extra Saada(plain) Sandwich".
Tummy rumbled.....
Received a message that class started.
Enter class.(Look around for Sandwiches)
No sandwiches.
Relief!
"They must have not placed an order!",
I  wouldn't have to watch the others eat as my tummy rumbled with regret.
Then as though waiting for his cue....
Enter Sandwich walla!
I slump...
My mind goes "Ooooooohhhhhhhh crap!!"
"Please let him have an extra one God! please!"
 "How will one materialize now stupid!", said my well intentioned mind.

Sandwich walla helps student distribute sandwich,
"Bina Kaanda"(No onions),
"Kam thika" (less spicy),
 "Toast" (Toast),
"Saada"(Plain)
OUCH ... Tummy rumbled.......

When suddenly,
"Who ordered for another Saada?"
......Silence.....
I looked around, hoping no one raised their hand.
My classmate called out again,
No one raised their hand,
promptly my hand goes up,
"Ill buy that!!"



"One Sandwich Miracle coming right up!"

Thanks God!!! :*


Please make haste and send my I- pad now ;) :D

Thought..

"It is in our weakness  we find our strength"

It is comfortable to have everything going for you or to be at the top of your game. 

Thought for the day...

It is as important to be a receiver as it is to be a Giver.

Everyone has their place!

           Today as I was getting ready to get into a Comfortably-Empty Madh bus to reach the tuition's, two things happened,

1.  I got annoyed when saw a couple of men blocking the entrance, making it difficult to get in.
2. A man stopped his bike exactly in front of the door, in this confusion I wasn't able to enter into that Comfortably-Empty Madh bus! I rolled my eyes at that man very annoyed that I was delayed due to no fault of my own. I rolled my eyes again thinking about the damn situation and stood waiting for another bus to come. 

         As a Somewhat-Crowded Marve bus arrived three successive thoughts crossed my mind,

• "Great this bus is crowded I could have just entered the previous bus" (great annoyance at the motorist)

• "Wait a minute that's something that doesn't happen all the time(thought about chance encounters, and empty buses that other delays have brought), is God trying to do something"

•  "Oh shit I forgot the papers!!!!!"

         As the Somewhat-Crowded Marve bus was approaching I rushed back home to pick up the Geography papers that I had checked and had to return weeks ago to the students of standard 10th. I kept forgetting to take it along and asked a student to remind me today, despite the reminder I had forgotten to take the papers along. I laughed at myself and said a 'Thank God' ....at least God had done the job effectively!

        As I went back to the bus stop I was pleasantly surprised at the sight of the Extremely-Empty Marve bus approaching the stop.

 I kept saying thanks to God and Christ!

I cant say that I still wasn't annoyed with that motorist, I cant curse him for making me miss the bus too.
The motorist is still annoying but Thank God for him!

Whoever you are Mr Motorist.....


 God Bless U!.

Blood Donation!

              Last Sunday one member from a NGO called Think foundation came to our parish to tell us about Thalassemia . Since we decided to organize a blood donation drive the priest in-charge of the youth suggested that we do it for this cause. It was really enlightening to hear this man speak as I didn't know much about the disorder and what the people suffering from it go through.. For those of you who don't know what Thalassemia is here is some info on the topic ..

             Thalassemia  is a genetic blood disease. People born with this disease cannot make normal hemoglobin (anemia) which is needed to produce healthy red blood cells.

             People with a thalassemia mutation only in one gene are carriers or are said to have thalassemia minor. Thalassemia minor results in no anemia or very slight anemia. Carriers do not require blood transfusion or iron therapy, unless proven to be iron deficient.
             Children born with thalassemia major usually develop the symptoms of severe anemia within the first year of life. The lack the ability to produce hemoglobin.Prolonged anemia will cause bone deformities and eventually will lead to death within the first decade of life. The only treatment to combat severe anemia is  regular blood transfusions (often every 2 to 4 weeks). These transfusions helps them maintain normal hemoglobin and red blood cell levels.

            Because the hemoglobin in red blood cells is an iron-rich protein, regular blood transfusions can lead to a buildup of iron in the blood. This condition is called iron overload. It damages the liver, heart, and other parts of the body.

To prevent this damage, iron chelation therapy is needed to remove excess iron from the body. Two medicines are used for iron chelation therapy.

• Deferoxamine is a liquid medicine that's given slowly under the skin, usually with a small portable pump used overnight. This therapy takes time and can be mildly painful. Side effects include problems with vision and hearing.
• Deferasirox is a pill taken once daily. Side effects include headache, nausea (feeling sick to the stomach), vomiting, diarrhea, joint pain, and fatigue (tiredness).(Info edited from this site)

            Undergoing transfusions every two weeks from the time you are kids is no small feat, it is a way of life for these patients, the person from the NGO told us that they even joke about it. Also because of the high number of transfusions they undergo they have a greater risk of contracting various blood-borne diseases such as HIV, AIDS, hepatitis B, hepatitis C. Apart from this they are at a greater risk for heart disease as well as osteoporosis. 

            

            Mr V told us that since every disease has a window period when the virus cannot be detected, sometimes the patients can receive infected blood and not know about it. The best and safest donors are those who donate blood voluntarily and this is one of the reasons that the NGO conducts blood donation drives almost every day, so that blood banks are stocked with enough blood from "safe donors" and there is enough for those suffering from thalassemia or any other disorder.

          

            I have been donating blood once a year from the time I turned 18 and never thought twice about it. I didn't think about where the blood went, who it must go to and about what a difference I would be making by this one act that I did without even thinking too much about. Last Sunday I realized what it can mean, not only for people suffering from thalassemia but from any other disease or disorder, that there is enough of blood stocked in the blood banks. It makes this drive we are conducting even more meaningful and has filled me with the enthusiasm to see a lot of people coming to donate blood on 25th March!

           

            I am keeping my fingers crossed and telling everyone I know about the drive. Whether it is to donate blood, spread the word, or simply come to support the people donating blood, everyone can help. 

Please do pray that we have a successful drive!

Woman's Day and changing Cognitions.

           
   Today is Holi the Indian festival of colors, the celebration brotherhood, and harvest and of the triumph of good over Evil! To read more about the festival go here.
               Today is also Women's day ......sigh....... I would be pleased if Men's day was celebrated with equal enthusiasm here. All this while I thought that Men didn't have a day dedicated to them, that was just my ignorance, it turns out they do! 19th November is celebrated as International Men's day. The history of Women's day is pretty cool, however if we talk about inequality I don't know how much having an International day for women helps, maybe it is just ignorance talking, Google can tell me only as much as I am willing to read :)
                It’s great to have an international Women's day and a Men's day........ However it would be even better if we had an International Gender Equality day! A day not just for men or women but for both, where we promote respect for oneself and the opposite gender as well as understand the needs and problems and inequalities that both the genders face. I am uncomfortable to be put on a pedestal and have stereotypical attributes assigned to me just because I am a Woman. I really don't know how it is around the world, but around where I live, there is no equality between genders and all of us are somehow expected to fit in roles assigned by the society and sometimes instead of gender equality we see the empowerment of just the women folk. Men are victims of gender inequality too; they are also playing by the rules of society. While this may be fine for some people, there are people who may feel pressured by society expecting them to behave in a certain way. I am a conformist to a certain extent and I am greatly influenced by society's expectations of me, I fear rejection, this attitude keeps me from really expressing who I am and sometimes even I can be in the dark about that.
            I don't know if I am ready to say that I am going to take a stand about it, but after this post is published I can’t go around with a blank look on my face and deny that I ever wrote such a thing, it will become my responsibility to mind my thoughts, actions and words so at-least form my side there isn't any cognitive dissonance ;)
            Sophia’s ( my college) has made me less prejudiced about women but more prejudiced about men, so now it’s up to me to delete those thoughts and adopt a more balanced outlook. This is going to mean not smirking when I see one of my guy friends check himself out in the nearest reflecting surface, or when one tells me that he is applying Livon silky potion to his hair when I complimented him about it, it means that I may not even go "awwwwwww" in my head when I see a guy get emotional or play with a baby or write poetry or be super sensitive, or think something’s wrong if he isn't into something macho, or talks with a mildly flailing hand( U c how influenced I am). It is possible that I may even NOT externally do the above because some of it- specifically the "awww" moments- I am fond of, but I know for sure that there is going to be some difference in my thoughts and actions regarding this issue.
             And if you'll think I am being prejudiced about a particular gender you can remind me of what I have written or forever hold your peace, of course because it is in my nature I will counter you with a quick but witty retort but yes I will remember and will be grateful to you for reminding me :).

On the day I called for help, you answered me.

                Today as I was swabbing the floor I was thinking about the stuff going on in my life and how a lot of things are beyond my control, some people and some events, while this is a plain and simple fact at times it can be annoying that things aren't going your way or comfortably smooth. As thoughts went from one thing to another something struck me, the thought that these happenings color my life. I obviously if left to my own devices would never expose myself to some of the people and some of the situations that I have been exposed to recently, they have been highly confusing some even meaningless and hurtful. But then its experience that I am gaining from them, a new skill, learning a way of dealing with people, so although I wish life to be roses... this is what it actually is and I guess I will benefit form experiencing it completely.
                 There was this line I said to myself at the that time that  'God gives us situations that would prepare us for the point in time where our prayers will be answered' and I believe that to be true, through my personal experience I can say that God answers our prayers and eventually the situations that we face, however overwhelming it  may be at the moment, all seems to make sense. As a Christian also sometimes the challenge is to keep the hope alive, that whatever the situation that I or my family is in I have a loving God who loves us more that we may ever love our selves, our children or whoever we may love most, that God will not let me down.
                The two readings of today also echo this faith that we are called to have. In the first reading we see Queen Esther's faith as she makes an appeal to God to come to her aid in the difficult situation that she is facing. In the Gospel Jesus tells us to trust that God wants what is best for us and answers our prayers, "Ask and you will receive".
It was amazing how my thoughts were echoed in today's readings. The psalms thanked God for being there by us always.

Lord, on the day I called for help, you answered me.
I will give thanks to you, O LORD, with all my heart,
for you have heard the words of my mouth;
in the presence of the angels I will sing your praise;
I will worship at your holy temple
and give thanks to your name.

              Yes situations are still not ideal they most probably never will be, however there is the assurance that I am in safe and loving hands and am moving towards something good and yes there is going to be some point in time where I am going to realize that ALL my prayers are answered in the most amazing of ways possible. Till then the challenge is to keep singing to God and to keep the faith.

Thinking

If you think you are beaten, you are;
If you think you dare not, you won't,
If you like to win, but don't think you can,
Its almost a clinch you won't.

If you think you'll lose, you're lost;
For out in the world you find,
Success begins with a fellow's will;
It's all in a state of mind.

For many a game is lost
Ere even a play is run,
And many a coward falls
Ere even his work begun,

Think Big and your deed will grow,
Think small and you'll fall behind;
Think that you can and you will,
It's all a state if mind.

If you think you are out-classed, you are;
You've got to think high to rise;
You've got to be sure of yourself before,
You can ever win a prize.

Life battles don't always go
To the stronger of faster man,
But sooner of later, the man who wins
is the fellow who thinks he can.

-Walter D. Wintle

I came across this poem when I was going through some of my stuff recently, I like this poem... I like reading inspiring stuff now and then......the poem is called " The man who thinks he can" or "Thinking" and  is written by Walter D. Wintle I haven't found much on him .... Wiki says that there are many versions of this poem and people are unable to figure out which is the original....
This is the version I have hope you liked it!

Addiction....

It it isn't Facebook it is my Blog :(

What I did in Haregaon

                       I was in Haregaon for Six days, generally when girls go for a come-and-see it is generally one month, they are given a particular thing to do to pass their time there, it may involve teaching the hostilities or helping out in some way. I was to help sister Marie and Sister Philla in training a group of girls of the ninth standard English class in putting up an extremely simplified version of Shakespeare's "Merchant of Venice". The lines were simple however it was a mammoth task for the Girls to do it, most of them managed to rote learn the lines. They understood what the lines meant, however when they would get nervous they would make many grammatical mistakes.They practiced a lot when I was there and I am sure that they will do a good Job of it in the coming weeks. Here is a picture of the girls with Sister Philla and Sister Marie...One of the Girls is hiding in the picture as she was really annoyed that I was leaving ....

The Girls and the Sisters..

                  Well the skit was one of the things I was doing, here I used to wake up at 6am and accompany the sisters and the girls to the nearby church for mass... Then around 11 am I accompanied Sister Shubadra my roomie to the Balwadi which is another name for play school. The Kids there were real cute, everyone greets you with a Nameste when you enter and leave.. Its nice to be greeted with a Nameste it is something we don't do often in Mumbai.. They have one amazing teacher in the Balwadi ,her name is Maria, she suffers from a skin disease because of which she cant go out in the sun so there is another helper employed to take the kids out. Maria is amazing! especially when it comes to storytelling. The normally distracted kids pay such rapt attention during story time ....her stories are interspersed with songs pertaining to the stories.. It is great fun watching the kids anticipate the song and happily sing along! Here is a picture of Maria and the kids during story time ! I wish I could have taken a video, but my phone does not have a great camera for videos....:(

Story Time !! The story was on a sparrow "Chiu Taai!"

              Apart from this I also spent my time reading, I read a few interesting articles given to me by Sister Philla. I also read a book on the Society. However most of the time I was with this book ......

           The book simply asks us to adopt an attitude of praising God whatever the circumstances we are in... This is not an easy thing to do, but the book talks about how we can benefit from this attitude. If you believe in God this makes some sense, if we believe our lives our run by God we can also believe that whatever situation that we are in even if it seems to be hopeless... will bring something good. The book is also about accepting blessings in your life and not being afraid to just live and be glad to be alive and enjoy what life gives. I really liked it because it made a lot of sense to me... I also needed to read something like this at the time .....
           Apart from the sisters and the girls in the hostel the convent was home to three dogs that were adopted by the sisters there, the male Prince is a cross between a German Shepherd and a street dog. He has his female pals Sonie and Tipsy. The dogs are kept in their cages during the day, because school which is on the same premises is on during the day and the dogs aren't very nice with men. Prince and Sonie are around 12 or 13 years old.... Lately Prince has been howling in his cage during the day, because of which he is tied out, he has used this opportunity to dig a huge hole in the ground, I guess it is for the harsh summers there! The hole is real deep!

Prince and his hole in the ground!

           Shrirampur is known for its Sugar factories, there are huge sugarcane farms here. The Sugarcane factory in Haregaon had closed down few years ago, leaving a lot of people there jobless. The people have now either started shops, do some odd jobs around the place or have to travel very far for employment. The place also sees 12 Hour power cuts, its from 12pm to 12am for one week and 12am to 12pm in another because of this some of the people have to spend on inverters so that their kids can comfortably study. Its sad that they have to face this when in Mumbai we use and abuse electricity like its nobody's business.
As I was leaving I saw a lady cobbler sitting at the side of the road. Now I have never seen a lady cobbler in my life, I just assumed its something that men do..Since I have seen only male cobblers in Mumbai. The sister with me told me that she was happy that the women here seem to be empowered,sometimes more than men.....Its is a good thing.... but it would be better if the both were empowered equally...
        One thing I learn t in Haregaon is that, to receive you have to give! I gave a little love to the girls that I was dealing with and I received loads in return! Not just here, I have observed this in other areas of my life.. there is great satisfaction in giving more and the more U give the more u seem to get in return!
       All in all it was a good experience I learned a lot about what a vocation is thru chatting with the sisters... They have a nice way of life... I still think I have to process a lot of it ..However, I am glad finally made the decision to go there......

Who knows what the tide could bring ?

          This is a sort of monologue from the movie "Cast Away", it is a good watch. Today, I caught the end but I really liked what Tom Hanks said, so even though it is a long dialogue I think its worth a watch. This is the scene after his farewell to Kelly... I do hope most of you'll have seen the movie, for those of you who haven't here is a link.

"I gotta keep breathing. Because tomorrow the sun will rise. Who knows what the tide could bring ?" 

:)

Some Laughs!

                      Cheryl sent me this video which was very funny...this is one of the songs she likes :). I like the way this guy has done the interpretive dance, so I watched some more videos and realized that this is some British version of "Whose line is it any way". This show that is aired on BBC is called "Fast and Loose" Its nice and it has *drum roll and loud applause* WAYNE BRADY!! the only other show I have seen him on is whose line, but he is Brilliant! Its great fun watching all of them come up with the most hilarious of things !!! :D
Please check out this and other videos if U need some laughs, I was laughing out loud at this one down here.

Good nite now :)

My Family :)

FAmily .........

• If there is one thing I have learn't .. is that things don't remain secret any longer ......When you put the "Ill tell U but U don't tell anybody s" together...U realize EVERYONE Knows .......they just need one to admit it.

• Everyone Bitches.

• Sometimes ...when U Know someone is heading for hell You let them Get there discover it and get back ... And Save the precious "I told U so s" .

• They Say "I don't care" but they still Do...

• They Say "I don't want to know" cos they  know they will eventually find out....

• Some of the major lessons U learn are by observing your Family.

• U learn to avoid some major Mistakes by observing  them  too.

• They Cry for sad occasions like a death and joyous occasions like a marriage too.

• They sometimes cry for no reason at all.

• After a certain point even the Dogs start farting silently and Looking around for the culprit.

• Keeping the toilet door open while Crapping and Peeing is not considered an offense.

• They check out whether your partner has a stable Financial background and a Job, at the same time emphasizing the fact that money doesn't always matter ....

• "Ill pay" "Ill pay" "no Ill pay".....pay up damn it!

• If Given a chance almost half of the "I dos" would have been changed to "I donts".(or so they say ;) )

• Mothers can use Motherhood as means of emotional blackmail.

• Children always think they are grown ups and Grown ups........well children DON'T grow up don't U know ?

• Those who don't have the guts to kill U will only make U stronger !

• U realize that sometimes there is some truth to those 'K' serials ......

• Everyone thinks they are right and in a funny way ...... they all are.

Love, Hate, Agreements, Disagreements, tears and Laughter,calm serenity and angry outburst......yes there are downs and ups, family are the only people we never consiously choose to be with ....we are placed there by God for his own reasons. At the end of the day, no matter how annoyed, hurt or irritated we are we always gotta remember this line, "what to do they are family know?" :)

"Families are like fudge - mostly sweet with a few nuts." -Author Unknown

Schrodinger's Cat

I like The Big Bang Theory, I however don't get to watch a lot of it. This was some advice Sheldon gives to Penny when Penny expresses her anxiety about a potential relationship between her and Leonard......
I had told my friend about this recently, quoted it back to me today ......:).
Just thought I'd share it with you guys :)

Self Respect

I HAd to Blog about this now.......
              We in college are going to be doing a work shop on Self-Esteem for which I have been reading up recently. I came across this article today, just a few minutes ago, it's here,  this article speaks about the difference between self esteem and self respect, it says that self esteem involves mental process, encompasses thoughts and beliefs of one self, however it isnt of a concerte nature. It is just developing pride in your self for who you are. The article then goes on to talk about the inner voice and how just having positive affirmations isn't enough, one has to act out such values too, this is where the concept of self respect jumps in.  Self respect is "walking the talk" not just correcting a negative thought it is as the definition says,the quality of being worthy of esteem or respect.

 " doing things that will  measure up to external standards of good behavior, accomplishment and cause for admiration.So then unlike self esteem which is internal and can easily be effected by moods,Your mood doesn't affect these standards because they come from outside of you.
             NOBODY can take them away from you. If someone tries to cut you down, you can compare that person's words with what you have accomplished and the standards of behavior that you attempt to attain. The words just don't fit the facts. And that erodes their credibility, not yours.
              These accomplishments are not susceptible to moods. You can have a serious bout of self-doubt or a bad day. Without these(the accomplishments), you could be plunged into a downward spiral of lowering self-esteem. With these foundations, however, you can only plunge so far if you choose to use them. The whispering voices of doubt are proven wrong by the solid track record of positive behavior.
               Conversely, if you do bad things, your self-respect is going to suffer. And odds are you will have to replace it with self-esteem."

            What I find very interesting is how self esteem and self respect are intertwined, why these article struck me was because,it helped me understand the value of positive behavior and that self talk, although it has its virtues has to be backed by action.
I cant just say, "I Love my self." I gotta show it. It maybe simple things, like avoiding people that bring you down, buying that pair of shoes, getting a particular hair cut or even not staying up till 1 am to finish post that I just HAVE to write for some reason. Although things like self esteem as well as self respect can be a double edged sword (in many ways ... m lazy to write about it just now), anything is excess isn't good.
I'm Glad I had this surprisingly AHA moment today, it has strangely put things in a different perspective and is something that will color my thoughts hence forth. :)

Happy Birthday VAkil!

Today is the Birthday of one of my Favourite Persons :)
Karen Vakil..... A friend I have grown to love and adore ....She the Turk to J.D

What makes special people more special is the fact that they don't really realise how special they are..

             Karen is one of them.. I have said this before and I will say it again, I wouldn't be me today if I hadn't met her.Friends who have known me are surprised to find Karen and I are close, " You'll seem so different ", they say " I'm surprised you'll are friends."

Dreamers :) Karen and I.

              Loving acceptance for people is what Karen has taught me, I am a very  judgmental person by default(not a very nice place to be). However, seeing Karen interact with people, just as they are and her natural acceptance of different sorts of people, helped me to do the same.Its difficult to describe the way she can intentionally make someone feel better without them knowing that she has done so, the capacity she has to Love and how she quietly lives this virtue out in her life without parading it around to everyone she meets. Its the little things, the little things... they really little things that she does that define who she is as a person. Being there for people, tell them that you love them without really saying it, being loving without feeling loving, brutal honesty about oneself, second chances, there are many things I still learn from you and I guess will continue learning. I am not claiming that sun shines out of Ur arse.... all I am saying is that if I didn't know you, I would hate the person I am today........................I am the most difficult person that I have to accept, when I accept others I learn to accept myself too............................
              If there was a way, I would let U know how it feels to be blessed with some one who is woven so intricately in this life that I live, that in its absence the whole design would a very different and horribly dull.
Sadly sometimes my words don't always have the power to do justice to beauty, to people and to emotions.However, I know u know what I mean :).

Love U Vakil! :)

A difficult Job.

                                               "You will realize when you have kids "
      Those words always have made me uncomfortable.. Its like in a horror movie when some character hints at whats in store ahead.
      I have always heard this response whenever I have criticized my parents on their parenting skills.
In the Song Affirmation by Savage Garden there is this line

"I believe that parents did the best job they knew how to do"

Well now I  empathize more and more with what my parents had to deal with.
It really is not that easy, and more often than not you get labeled 'bad' for the good that your trying to do!

What has caused this realization ?

          The really annoying children in the tuition classes I work for and the kids of the previous years confirmation batch (oh, I don't want to not give the confirmation students of 2010 their credit for giving me a renewed respect for my parents!)

           I don't know how the Parents do it , how my parents did it. I know how I was as a child, pretty argumentative about the 'whys' and 'whats' of things, if I had to deal with me as an adolescent I would go MAD.
          I remember what my brother and I did and said as kids, while we loved our parents, we also made it a point to express how we 'didn't' love them at times. However, our parents allowed this expression, I remember telling my mum " I wish I was never born", my brother saying " If you ll' don't know how to take care of kids you;ll shouldn't have given birth to us in the first place."
          Now I know how it feels to know, that what your doing is going to be met with rebellion but doing it anyways.Knowing that your kids are gonna hate you but, still taking the brunt of it because you love them.
So thinking about the kids in the confirmation class and those at the tuition, I went to my mama and said a heartfelt sorry for being a total ass, "Parenting is not easy" I said " Its not easy" I kept saying.
It isn't.