I will be Leaving for the discernment camp in a while, for those of you who don't know , a discernment camp is a camp where you spend time discerning about where you want to be in the future. I am catholic and our religion emphasises that you can find God through three ways of life, married, single or a religious, the discernment camp is to see where you fit.
I am not gonna lie I think I do have "vocation", but I don't want to spend my life as a religious, the idea seems good at a time and not so good at another......the problem is Im not sure, so this camp will help me understand better where Im inclined to be. Right now though, I want to be neutral. I feel the problem for me is that Im not very sure of myself and also for some reason think I will displease the religious who I have close relations with if I say no to religious life.
Being a person belonging to a religious order means that ones life revolves around God ...well they are better able to connect with them selves and tap into their vast stores of potential and live a Full life..thats my God or the way I see it....
Its not a very bad life actually, cause religious have a support system which is stronger than our normal one which consist of family and friends. Their support system is their Community which consist of people like them devoted to helping others.....they dont have families to take care of and so they are free from domestic cares and worries. Their worries are not mundane stuff like "who left the sugar can in the hall??"..their stress and worries come from their relationships with others and themselves ..its a normal thing for religious as well as non religious alike...but the way they handle stress and their thought and belief systems are different..in a way they are more balanced as they dont deal with the stresses of everyday life .......
Which brings me to the point that damn hell lot of us would be well balanced if we didnt have to deal with everyday stressors....!!!!!
I see it like this.......The religious serve one specific religion and their activities and outreach is in the name of the specific religion ...not all of them can be called spiritual ....When you meet a person who has a deep connection with their spirit you just know ...however most of the religious devote time to still them selves and get in contact with their being .......that's why they are calm and sure of them selves cause they have this firm belief that not much can go wrong for them and even if their still waters are disturbed they make it a point to find the time to go within them selves and seek the cause of the disturbance and deal with it. They are in constant awareness of themselves and their surroundings ..they experience life fully.
Im not denying....... it is a nice life...I am very attracted by it.....the problem is that even though I'm a catholic ..(not a devout one at that )I want a more secular outlet............I do believe in Jesus Christ....but I also believe that we are our own Gods ...we all have the potential to live fully and shape our future......and by going into your self you find your power and the power of the universe surrounds you.
I can compromise anything but I just cant compromise my beliefs. I do believe in a greater power ...
But its a fact that I can believe and the power manifest its self to me because I am here and alive andI can think and feel...which Brings me to one Question ....where would God be if we werent here???
The power is always there but we make it special.;)
Wish me luck and pray for me....that I may keep an open mind in whatever Im about to learn and do..and also that I camly make a decision.
She says no preassure but well the very line scares me!