“Perhaps it is not accurate, realistic thinking that keeps people from being depressed but, rather, hope and optimism."- Susan Nolen-Hoeksema.
I got this from the chapter on Mood disorders in my Abnormal Psychology Text book....Interestingly this comment was preceded by arguments that people prone to Depression and Depressed people view the world negatively and have a hopeless cognitive style ......
The argument takes a turn with this line "Is it possible that depressed people are not distorted in their negative views of the world but are actually seeing the world for the terrible place it is ?" It then goes on to talk about a phenomenon called Depressive Realism that is, it was found that when asked to make judgments about how much control they have over situations that are actually uncontrollable, depressed people were found to be quite accurate. Non depressed people on the other hand were found to have "robust illusions" that they can control all sorts of situations that were actually out of their control and that they have superior skills compared to other people. In the end this statement was made "Research on illusion of control calls into question the notion that depression results from unrealistic beliefs that one cannot control one's environment or form negative errors in thinking about ones self and the world."
In other words once they compared the illusions of control between depressed and non depressed people they found out that the people actually having unrealistic beliefs were those who thought that they CAN control their environment and those who have a positive view about themselves and the world, and hence the above statement made by Susan Nolen.
I want to share this as I found it quite ironic...... I always consider being accurate and realistic as "good" traits and our elders keep telling us to, "stop floating in the clouds and come back to reality".
In this context I think I was a victim to accurate and realistic thinking......after giving it due consideration and experimenting with it I find now ................. It gets me nowhere.
And the next time you think about telling someone to get a "Reality Check" ... Think twice will U ... I know I will .:)
Thursday, March 11, 2010
Wednesday, December 2, 2009
A curious Virus.
Woke up with a weird feeling today, alas I was Infected! ……
I looked at my notes of economics that I possessed and my reaction confirmed my belief,I didnt understand anything ……Gibberish!
I, as I told a good friend earlier that nite was Under-Under Prepared…Oh well.. I thought Ill at least give the exam, beats not giving one..
Somehow this year, I’m not scared of doing like Crap!......Well… the fact that this time the marks don’t matter and will have no consequence whatsoever does help to ease my worries..;).
Turns out that none of the people I know were prepared……..at all.
And these were not just people saying that they were not prepared because they wanted to blend in with the crowd, by the looks of it there is a I-don’t-care-enough-to-study-for-the exams flu going around campus, or is it just a few friends I know ??*anxious*I hope the virus does its Job.
While in the train, I was not making a great effort to study, I didn’t see the point ..how much more could I cram up?? ..and I had to understand what I was reading, I don’t understand sometimes what’s with economics..whats with the big words? By the time I reach the middle of the page my mind stops registering what I read and I’m just reading, kinda like what happens during the lectures! So I was jabbering away in the train to keep myself entertained, no I really didn’t care that my friends were trying to study, since we were bitten by the same bug I knew they were just trying to appear normal for the fear of God -alone- Knows what!! ….Karen even said a few times that she didn’t feel like studying ! But yet the poor thing was making an effort to cram..
As a part of my train entertainment programe I started with me "Whys" (my favorite companions) Why do we have to study? What consequence is our education going to have ? Will I need to know Lewis’s Theory of unlimited labour supply to survive? Will Solow and Lebinstein help me with the laundry?
We all know we are doing this for the stupid certificate that calls us Graduates…but what’s the point of graduating if well at the end of it we don’t know what we are graduating for!
I made a wrong choice I tell U and I am realizing it now ……But if I didn’t make this choice I would never know its wrong…
I wrote Slowly and deliberately in class, I was thinking about how to make my self sound convincing, and I just attempted three out of the eight questions there, so well, I thought Id do my best*sniggers*. I hoped to be the first out of class but two fellow infected economic double majors got there before me, Oh well I thought, third place for me then, just had to complete a sentence but when I raised my head I saw another ailing Double major leave !
Not even Third !!! WHY GOD WHY!!*sniff sniff*
I “completed” my paper and handed it over with a big smile on my face.. I don’t know why. I guess the first times are always special . I knew that other fellow infecteds would soon follow. Everyone waits for someone to hand over the paper first, some one..a leader.. to take the initiative and non verbally express the simple truth , “I didn’t study and I don’t Give a damn”, the rest follow immediately. I don’t know why I was smiling, I gave a dismal performance but yet there was a spring in my step. It’s the virus I guess, I like being infected though.
On my way out I met Cheryl I asked her how she did, she said she wrote one… actually half an answer, she was glowing, Cheryl’s joy is very infectious!! It looks like I was the one bluffing when I was boasting about how under-under prepared I was! We had a good Laugh and I was on my way home. Abnormal Psychology next……I'm still infected though.
Oh and I didn’t mention this, on our way to college I was testing out Karen’s Foofa Fortune game, Its something like a virtual Magic eight ball …
This was my Question,
My worst paper ever and Im all smiles.........Some..Including my former self, may say I have lost it.....
I looked at my notes of economics that I possessed and my reaction confirmed my belief,I didnt understand anything ……Gibberish!
I, as I told a good friend earlier that nite was Under-Under Prepared…Oh well.. I thought Ill at least give the exam, beats not giving one..
Somehow this year, I’m not scared of doing like Crap!......Well… the fact that this time the marks don’t matter and will have no consequence whatsoever does help to ease my worries..;).
Turns out that none of the people I know were prepared……..at all.
And these were not just people saying that they were not prepared because they wanted to blend in with the crowd, by the looks of it there is a I-don’t-care-enough-to-study-for-the exams flu going around campus, or is it just a few friends I know ??*anxious*I hope the virus does its Job.
While in the train, I was not making a great effort to study, I didn’t see the point ..how much more could I cram up?? ..and I had to understand what I was reading, I don’t understand sometimes what’s with economics..whats with the big words? By the time I reach the middle of the page my mind stops registering what I read and I’m just reading, kinda like what happens during the lectures! So I was jabbering away in the train to keep myself entertained, no I really didn’t care that my friends were trying to study, since we were bitten by the same bug I knew they were just trying to appear normal for the fear of God -alone- Knows what!! ….Karen even said a few times that she didn’t feel like studying ! But yet the poor thing was making an effort to cram..
As a part of my train entertainment programe I started with me "Whys" (my favorite companions) Why do we have to study? What consequence is our education going to have ? Will I need to know Lewis’s Theory of unlimited labour supply to survive? Will Solow and Lebinstein help me with the laundry?
We all know we are doing this for the stupid certificate that calls us Graduates…but what’s the point of graduating if well at the end of it we don’t know what we are graduating for!
I didn’t think it out properly, and I have to live with it!When we reached Grant Road Station, we decided that we would get done in half an hour and meet in the canteen later, I met my friend Cheryl on my way to class, she appeared so calm and confident, I asked her if she was prepared she told me she wasn’t, some how I couldn’t buy that, It intimidated me further, I told her I was under-under prepared and she said its okay everyone is ….She didn’t seem so, I wished her Luck and headed for class. I was glad I didn’t come across any class mates, they ask me whether I have done this and that and name chapters I never knew existed! This does nothing for my nerves, it also hampers with my ability to make upon stuff on the spot and this is a ability I had to rely on today so I had to maintain it!
I wrote Slowly and deliberately in class, I was thinking about how to make my self sound convincing, and I just attempted three out of the eight questions there, so well, I thought Id do my best*sniggers*. I hoped to be the first out of class but two fellow infected economic double majors got there before me, Oh well I thought, third place for me then, just had to complete a sentence but when I raised my head I saw another ailing Double major leave !
Not even Third !!! WHY GOD WHY!!*sniff sniff*
I “completed” my paper and handed it over with a big smile on my face.. I don’t know why. I guess the first times are always special . I knew that other fellow infecteds would soon follow. Everyone waits for someone to hand over the paper first, some one..a leader.. to take the initiative and non verbally express the simple truth , “I didn’t study and I don’t Give a damn”, the rest follow immediately. I don’t know why I was smiling, I gave a dismal performance but yet there was a spring in my step. It’s the virus I guess, I like being infected though.
On my way out I met Cheryl I asked her how she did, she said she wrote one… actually half an answer, she was glowing, Cheryl’s joy is very infectious!! It looks like I was the one bluffing when I was boasting about how under-under prepared I was! We had a good Laugh and I was on my way home. Abnormal Psychology next……I'm still infected though.
Oh and I didn’t mention this, on our way to college I was testing out Karen’s Foofa Fortune game, Its something like a virtual Magic eight ball …
This was my Question,
“Are these studies important, will they matter in Life?”
Foofa answers: NO WAY!
All hail the Foofa!!!!!!!!!!!!
My worst paper ever and Im all smiles.........Some..Including my former self, may say I have lost it.....
But the Mona Lisa Smile I see in the mirror reminds me.......I know something that U don't...*Wink*
Monday, November 30, 2009
Mera Favourtie Word.....
"Why?..."
One word ....
It will get you Thinking,
Understanding,
Questioning....
Don't be satisfied with the "it has to be this way", "because I said so", "they said so, so it must be true", "Just"or "No reason" answers ....
Firstly ...with me .. the last two can be majorly disappointing conversation Killers!
And well there is almost always a reason behind everything.....
A satisfying answer just as unique as we are, that makes sense and resonates with our being.......(here I'm really not talking bout stuff like, "Why do U like Tea and Not Milk? " although..come to think of It there are good reasons hmm...I can elaborate ...But I'll spare U the trouble....)
Discovering such "answers" has given me great Joy ..and made life more meaningful..................
I Love "WHY"!!!
Its the best Word ever made ...invented ...spoken...
Question the world around you ...Its fun....
Embark on the journey of the "Why"!
All U need is an Open Mind and a Receiving Heart Books, the Internet, Patient parents, Supportive friends and a world that understands the obsession......:)
One word ....
It will get you Thinking,
Understanding,
Questioning....
Don't be satisfied with the "it has to be this way", "because I said so", "they said so, so it must be true", "Just"or "No reason" answers ....
Firstly ...with me .. the last two can be majorly disappointing conversation Killers!
And well there is almost always a reason behind everything.....
A satisfying answer just as unique as we are, that makes sense and resonates with our being.......(here I'm really not talking bout stuff like, "Why do U like Tea and Not Milk? " although..come to think of It there are good reasons hmm...I can elaborate ...But I'll spare U the trouble....)
Discovering such "answers" has given me great Joy ..and made life more meaningful..................
I Love "WHY"!!!
Its the best Word ever made ...invented ...spoken...
Question the world around you ...Its fun....
Embark on the journey of the "Why"!
All U need is an Open Mind and a Receiving Heart Books, the Internet, Patient parents, Supportive friends and a world that understands the obsession......:)
Thursday, November 26, 2009
Who is it?
12/3/93, 11/7/06, 26/11/08...........................Etched ???humph.....
Spirit of Mumbai?
...or just an excuse to say that we will not do a thing yet again...
The beeping metal dectors at Churchgate echo my sentiments......
_/_/09? _/_/10? _/_/11?
It will happen....... it’s not coz I’m without hope for Peace...not because I’m a cynic ...but right now.. living in Mumbai..In India…In this world.. . I know.......
Is Kasab to blame?..
Or the handlers who trained him.. who thought him to kill till the last breath?
Or those who indoctrinated these handlers ?
Who indoctrinated them ?
Why didn’t anyone tell them this was not the way?
Who stood up to set an example???
Who stood Up against War?
...............U.S? U.K? Russia? India?
Is the death sentence for Kasab the answer?
What right do we have to tell these people to stop?
Our government isn’t exactly using Peace and Non Violence as Foreign Policy is it?
Do we as citizens use it?
Terrorism…It All started somewhere for a reason....... It wouldn’t have sustained if there wasn’t any reason for it to......
Every terrorist has a family
Every Terrorist has a Mother, a Father, a Brother, a Sister............
Every Terrorist is Grieved for by this family
Every Family member is human and therefore feels the anger feels the pain of losing someone they Loved.....Someone who laughed cried and played with them.........
Who killed him???
….Those people....
I’ll Kill them..............
(Relative of a terrorist or that of his Victim ....U decide)
Terrorist are but Humans passionate about a cause.. to such a point that they are ready to Kill and Die for it.....
What is the difference between those who killed the 140,000 people in Hiroshima and 8000 people in Nagasaki with two bombs deployed from thousand of miles above the ground ....
And
Those 10 people who came in on 26/11/08 and wrecked havoc in the city of Mumbai ..... killing 164 people .......and dying in the Process..
Whats the difference between the then U.S president Harry Truman ...and Kasab's handlers?
Which of these can truly be called Terrorist???
Ask the present generation of Hiroshima and Nagasaki who are still suffering from the physical after effects of the Atomic Blast.......
Ask those who are suffering from the emotional after effects of the 26/11 attacks......
Who are the Terrorist??
Is anyone willing to Forgive?
Will we ever Forget?
"We will not stop until the last of them is Dead...and ________ is completely wiped off from the face of this earth"
The Voice of a terrorist...?
Or
A Cry of a Righteous citizen Seeking Justice...........
....U decide.
Spirit of Mumbai?
...or just an excuse to say that we will not do a thing yet again...
The beeping metal dectors at Churchgate echo my sentiments......
_/_/09? _/_/10? _/_/11?
It will happen....... it’s not coz I’m without hope for Peace...not because I’m a cynic ...but right now.. living in Mumbai..In India…In this world.. . I know.......
Is Kasab to blame?..
Or the handlers who trained him.. who thought him to kill till the last breath?
Or those who indoctrinated these handlers ?
Who indoctrinated them ?
Why didn’t anyone tell them this was not the way?
Who stood up to set an example???
Who stood Up against War?
...............U.S? U.K? Russia? India?
Is the death sentence for Kasab the answer?
What right do we have to tell these people to stop?
Our government isn’t exactly using Peace and Non Violence as Foreign Policy is it?
Do we as citizens use it?
Terrorism…It All started somewhere for a reason....... It wouldn’t have sustained if there wasn’t any reason for it to......
Every terrorist has a family
Every Terrorist has a Mother, a Father, a Brother, a Sister............
Every Terrorist is Grieved for by this family
Every Family member is human and therefore feels the anger feels the pain of losing someone they Loved.....Someone who laughed cried and played with them.........
Who killed him???
….Those people....
I’ll Kill them..............
(Relative of a terrorist or that of his Victim ....U decide)
Terrorist are but Humans passionate about a cause.. to such a point that they are ready to Kill and Die for it.....
What is the difference between those who killed the 140,000 people in Hiroshima and 8000 people in Nagasaki with two bombs deployed from thousand of miles above the ground ....
And
Those 10 people who came in on 26/11/08 and wrecked havoc in the city of Mumbai ..... killing 164 people .......and dying in the Process..
Whats the difference between the then U.S president Harry Truman ...and Kasab's handlers?
Which of these can truly be called Terrorist???
Ask the present generation of Hiroshima and Nagasaki who are still suffering from the physical after effects of the Atomic Blast.......
Ask those who are suffering from the emotional after effects of the 26/11 attacks......
Who are the Terrorist??
Is anyone willing to Forgive?
Will we ever Forget?
"We will not stop until the last of them is Dead...and ________ is completely wiped off from the face of this earth"
The Voice of a terrorist...?
Or
A Cry of a Righteous citizen Seeking Justice...........
....U decide.
Wednesday, November 25, 2009
Exam Reasoning....
The Exams are approaching (tomorrow) and for once Im not biting my nails .....No No I haven’t become complacent ....I haven’t given up....No.....
But for once I just don’t care that much ......... Its not that the exams are not important ..its that they are not that important ..........
Studies and mugging can only do so much.......
It doesn’t teach me how to live,
How to stand up for myself,
How to deal with disappointments,
How to overcome "failures"......some of the most important lessons that we learn cannot be ...and will never be learnt in a classroom.
It can be learnt during long conversations with friends two days before exams, through silence, by just observing and listening to the world around you. The most important lessons are learnt through feelings of anger, jealousy, guilt, hopelessness, by participating in and experiencing life.
Right now I am taking charge of my life!! It feels so liberating and taking responsibility feels good!
I feel fully aware of the consequences of my actions and am ready to face it......
I am purposely not exactly studying today ............ because my mum’s stressing on it ... the more she says study, the more I don’t want to. I want to study because I want to study ...not because I want to please a Teacher, a Parent or an Aunt..............
Just had a row with my mum and she said I had a responsibility towards them..... I know I do ...but what about the responsibility that I have towards myself? Doesn’t that count for anything???
YEah I have been given a choice and I am thankful to my parents for working so hard that I have one ....but what’s the use of having a choice and then not using it?? I really want to be sure that what I am doing, I am doing because I want to do It ...even if I’m doing something for someone else it should be because I WANT to do it not because I HAVE to do it...... there lies the difference between feeling happy or resentful of one’s choice.
So the not so-important-exams here I come .......sunglasses on, sipping on refreshing coconut water floating on my buoy, relaxed, composed .........let tomorrow come ...Ill deal with it.
Here is a Quote that I put on Facebook a while ago…
But for once I just don’t care that much ......... Its not that the exams are not important ..its that they are not that important ..........
Studies and mugging can only do so much.......
It doesn’t teach me how to live,
How to stand up for myself,
How to deal with disappointments,
How to overcome "failures"......some of the most important lessons that we learn cannot be ...and will never be learnt in a classroom.
It can be learnt during long conversations with friends two days before exams, through silence, by just observing and listening to the world around you. The most important lessons are learnt through feelings of anger, jealousy, guilt, hopelessness, by participating in and experiencing life.
Right now I am taking charge of my life!! It feels so liberating and taking responsibility feels good!
I feel fully aware of the consequences of my actions and am ready to face it......
I am purposely not exactly studying today ............ because my mum’s stressing on it ... the more she says study, the more I don’t want to. I want to study because I want to study ...not because I want to please a Teacher, a Parent or an Aunt..............
Just had a row with my mum and she said I had a responsibility towards them..... I know I do ...but what about the responsibility that I have towards myself? Doesn’t that count for anything???
YEah I have been given a choice and I am thankful to my parents for working so hard that I have one ....but what’s the use of having a choice and then not using it?? I really want to be sure that what I am doing, I am doing because I want to do It ...even if I’m doing something for someone else it should be because I WANT to do it not because I HAVE to do it...... there lies the difference between feeling happy or resentful of one’s choice.
So the not so-important-exams here I come .......sunglasses on, sipping on refreshing coconut water floating on my buoy, relaxed, composed .........let tomorrow come ...Ill deal with it.
Here is a Quote that I put on Facebook a while ago…
"Education Boon or Bane??...depends on who U are ..........I mean....... Look at Einstein!!" - Zena.I don’t have anything against education as such, it is very important…..But here in India its not as flexible as it should be.... thats what I think anyway...
Tuesday, November 24, 2009
Confusion ~ Conclusion!
Zena !!!!Hey come here
Zena Looks confused goes there .........
Zena here!! come here !!!!
But Zena doesn't want to come there No she doesnt!
Zena Sits confused
But what if they are right ..........??????
Come here Zena !!!!
No No No NO NO!!!!
Come !!!!
NO I dont want to !!
Come!
NO NO!
COME!!
Huh?? yeah Im coming ...........
She goes there ..........
Looks around ...........
Hmmmm now I'm sure I dont want to be here you fool! I was right all along!!!I just didnt know!
There she goes, back ....back to her place back to what she knows ............
They will follow .....in their own time they will..........They just dont know yet ...
Stupid People ....making me doubt my self ...
Stupid Zena doubting her self.....
Well now we know ....
Yeah alteast now we know.....
Another Lesson learnt ............
Believe Darling Believe..........
Zena Looks confused goes there .........
Zena here!! come here !!!!
But Zena doesn't want to come there No she doesnt!
Zena Sits confused
But what if they are right ..........??????
Come here Zena !!!!
No No No NO NO!!!!
Come !!!!
NO I dont want to !!
Come!
NO NO!
COME!!
Huh?? yeah Im coming ...........
She goes there ..........
Looks around ...........
Hmmmm now I'm sure I dont want to be here you fool! I was right all along!!!I just didnt know!
There she goes, back ....back to her place back to what she knows ............
They will follow .....in their own time they will..........They just dont know yet ...
Stupid People ....making me doubt my self ...
Stupid Zena doubting her self.....
Well now we know ....
Yeah alteast now we know.....
Another Lesson learnt ............
Believe Darling Believe..........
Wednesday, November 18, 2009
ME???
Who am I????
Does anybody know???
OH MY GOD!!! I Look Like them
Two hands, two legs, two eyes
and one Nose.
Who am I???
Can You see me in the crowd??
Can you hear me....
Can you see me ??
My arms Flailing...Im wailing, out LOUD!!
Who am I??
I know Im different.....
I know Im not like them.
I will never be ....I dont want to be.............
BUT ...
Who AM I
To deny the fact that
The same GOD that dwells in THEM
Also dwells in ME.
- Zena YArde.
Does anybody know???
OH MY GOD!!! I Look Like them
Two hands, two legs, two eyes
and one Nose.
Who am I???
Can You see me in the crowd??
Can you hear me....
Can you see me ??
My arms Flailing...Im wailing, out LOUD!!
Who am I??
I know Im different.....
I know Im not like them.
I will never be ....I dont want to be.............
BUT ...
Who AM I
To deny the fact that
The same GOD that dwells in THEM
Also dwells in ME.
- Zena YArde.
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